


Yorkshire for my love?

by Themfookingavocados



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Character Death, Future Fic, Hurt Harry Styles, Larry Stylinson Is Real, Liam is a Good Friend, Lonely Harry, Love, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:54:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27557953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Themfookingavocados/pseuds/Themfookingavocados
Summary: He picked his phone up and looked at the messages he’d sent to Louis. He never expected Louis to answer anymore, but maybe at least he saw the text he sent him? It would be typical Louis to just ignore them for fun. Harry smiled to himself and sent another text. And then he had another look at the previous texts, all sent from Harry’s phone.Please come home.I miss you.I love you.Home soon?I miss you Loubear.I love you. Miss you bubs.I miss you.I miss you.I miss you.I miss you.I miss you.
Relationships: Harry Styles & Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 4





	Yorkshire for my love?

Home. A place where you feel safe no matter what. Home is always home, whether it’s a physical place, a feeling or a person. For Harry it had always been people. When he was a kid, it was his mom. But the day he met Louis Tomlinson, that changed. 

Sure, Harry would admit that it didn’t seem like Louis was interested at first. Maybe he was just too straight to date a guy. Or maybe he was too nonchalant and sassy to admit his feelings towards Harry. But as Louis always says “Harry is a charmer” and who could ever resist one of them? Well not Louis anyway. 

Harry had met Louis when he was only sixteen and Louis eighteen. Louis always said that he felt sort of a responsibility over Harry since the very first time he saw him. Probably because he had been so small back then. “There’s not much of you” Louis had said once they actually started cuddling in Louis’ part of their shared bunk bed that they had gotten on the x-factor. The cuddling was according to Louis “a distraction from reality” as Harry had been quite nervous about their performances back in the days. But both of them knew that they did it because they were lonely... and gay. 

However, loneliness slowly turned into real affection and feelings and soon enough they were head over heals for each other. Harry could still remember the times Louis used to push their hotel single beds together to make one big, he was mad that management had got their room wrong once again. He would mutter something like “fucking homophobic idiot dickheads”. 

He remembered that one time that Louis realised that Harry had grown past him. He had been brushing Harry’s curls down for ages and told Harry to take his shoes off and then called it unfair because he hadn’t yet had time to do his stretching exercises that morning. That night was one of the first times Harry had seen Louis cry. Harry didn’t understand what was wrong because all Louis kept saying was “promise you are still my baby?” Over and over again, and Harry promised. And he kept his promise. 

...

“Bye Lottie, love you” Harry said and closed the door to his and Louis’ London house. This was home now. People thought he was insane, but he knew that this was home now. Because Louis was here. 

He sat down on the couch making sure not to touch the other pillow. That one was Louis’, not his. He always made sure Louis was Happy first and if that meant not to touch his pillow, Harry was fine with it. 

He picked his phone up and looked at the messages he’d sent to Louis. He never expected Louis to answer anymore, but maybe at least he saw the text he sent him? It would be typical Louis to just ignore them for fun. Harry smiled to himself and sent another text. And then he had another look at the previous texts, all sent from Harry’s phone. 

Please come home.  
I miss you.  
I love you.  
Home soon?  
I miss you Loubear.  
I love you. Miss you bubs.  
I miss you.  
I miss you.  
I miss you.  
I miss you.  
I miss you.

He shut the phone off and pressed it to his chest while biting his lip. He couldn’t scroll any further. He just could not bring himself to. He went to instagram instead. He smiled as he typed “Louist91” and saw his account. The last picture was a black and white one of him and Louis. They looked very happy. Harry looked at the caption as if he hadn’t done that a hundred times before. 

“Me and my Hazza. Happy days -L”  
-Posted one year ago-

One year ago? Right. 

Harry threw his phone on the coffee table and made his way to the kitchen. Singing a song he hadn’t realised yet. His music still went well and although Louis had stopped releasing music a few years ago, Harry always made sure to remind him that his music was still selling. A whole lot too. 

In the kitchen it looked like it usually did. Cigarettes in a pack on the counter, Louis’ obviously, and dished in the sink. Harry sighed, it was actually Louis’ turn to do the dishes but Harry always did them to be kind. People always told him he was too kind and looked at him as if he was crazy. He wasn’t. He knew this was home now. 

Harry grabbed the tea pot and turned it over to see the handwritten reminder on the back of the pot. It was written in black marker with Louis’ handwriting. “Louis’ tea pot” and Harry laughed. He knew the tea pot was the one thing Louis treasured the most. He didn’t know why though, but he only let Harry touch it occasionally. 

He was just about to make tea when he heard something in the hallway. Louis. He smiled and walked there. He looked at the coat that had fallen down from the hanger and smiled. Louis.

“Louis, don’t be such a fucking dick” he laughed. Louis laughed too, he decided. He grabbed the coat and hung it up again and told Louis to follow him to the kitchen. 

“I’m glad you’re here, you haven’t been for a while huh?” Harry said. He didn’t expect an answer. He kept talking to Louis and he knew he was listening. He kept on making the tea. 

“Yorkshire for my love?” No answer. It was a rhetorical question anyway. He knew that Louis wanted Yorkshire, so he made him a cup and placed it on the counter that Louis stood leaned against.

Harry decided to put some music on. He might seemed like the kind of person who loved silence, but no. Not nowadays anyway. He put Louis’ music on, it was better dancing music, even though that kind of music wasn’t really the type you listen to now. “Let’s dance Lou” Harry said and without seeing it, Harry already knew Louis shook his head. “Come on just you and me, we’re not that old y’know” and they danced. They danced all day and Harry had the time of his life. Life, right. If anyone saw them, him, now they’d think he was insane. But he wasn’t, because he knew that this was home. 

*Knock, knock, knock*

Fuck.

“Not now” Harry thought and ran towards the door. He opened it. He knew it wasn’t going to be Louis, he never knocked. He just walked in and right, he was already here. At home. 

Harry opened the door. Liam. Fuck. Not Liam. Not now. The music bounced around in the house and Liam just shook his head. Then he pushed his was by Harry into his house and turned the music off.

“You told me you were fine Harry”

“I am” Liam shook his head again. 

“Let’s talk” Harry sat down on the sofa and Liam sat by his side. Touching Louis’ pillow. “Don’t touch th- never mind” Harry said, it was already too late. 

“You’re lying, you’re not happy Harry”

“I never said I was”

“You said you were fine” Harry didn’t say anything, he just looked down. 

“You’re not fine, you know I can see your texts right? You send him texts every fucking day” Harry looked up at Liam, tears in his eyes and just shook his head. 

“How did you know?”

“I have his phone man, you know that. You can’t keep texting him, what do you expect? An answer? You have to realise that that’s never going to happen again” Liam said. Fuck Liam, he didn’t understand. It was not about the texts, it was not about the tea, it wasn’t about anything but selfish fucking Harry Styles. 

“I-I’m sorry” Harry sobbed. Almost crying now, this was the first time he had ever spoken about this face to face with someone. When he thought about it in was the only conversation ha had had in a year probably. 

“Harry, don’t say sorry, you’ve done that enough. You have got to make effort to get over it. You can’t live your life pretending it didn’t happen, pretending he’s still here”

“He is still here you fucking dickhead! I hate you! I hate you Liam! I hate you! Go home! I don’t want you here!”  
Harry screamed and cried. He wanted to hit Liam, he wanted to push him down on the floor and- No.

“Harry you are out of your mind! Don’t you realise that?”

“No I’m not! I’m not! I know Louis is dead Liam! I-I know that I don’t have anyone! I know people think I’m crazy, but I’m not okay? I know Louis isn’t physically here anymore. But he was my home Liam, now what have I got? A house? I don’t care about the stupid house! A house is not a home without a family. This house is only a home because Louis was here and he’s still here... here” Harry put a hand on his hand while the tears run down his cheeks. Did he just say it? With words? Did he just say that Louis is d- No. 

Liam wrapped his arms around Harry and Harry cried like a baby. He hadn’t cried this much since Louis died. 

“I want him back” Harry cried. 

“I know, Harry. I’m so so sorry” 

“I don’t want to live without him, not a second. And I don’t have to if I just... pretend. I know it’s stupid. But I-I am stupid Liam. Just a stupid guy in love with a dead man.”

“Stop that, you are not stupid. You are the strongest person I know. Dealing with closeting for years and now this, I understand that it’s too much Harry. I want you to be Happy. Okay?... You know what?”

“What?”

“Let’s go see him”

“No”

“Yes”

“No, never. I never want to see his grave ever again.”

Twenty minutes later Liam had dragged the crying Harry to the graveyard and to Louis grave. Then he left Harry alone. 

He bent down and spoke to Louis, and Liam was right, this felt way more real than at home. At first he couldn’t get a word out of his mouth because he cried so much. 

“Louis, Fuck why is this so hard? I-I’m so sorry Louis. I’m sorry that I haven’t come here, but I’m very scared. This feels like a confirmation for me. A confirmation that you are... gone I suppose. I know I’m being silly and dumb, I don’t even know if you remember me anymore Louis. I remember you anyway, I love you so so much and I miss you more than I can ever describe with words. Why us huh? Why does bad things always happen to us? I guess we’re sinners technically” he chuckled a little.

“I’ve been making you tea, smelling your clothes and I haven’t touched anything that I know you were the last one to touch. I know it’s stupid, but I can’t bring myself to get rid of anything. Fuck- your cigarettes are still on the freaking counter. I remember the last cigarette you smoked actually. The doctor said it was bad for yous lungs but you didn’t give a shit. I miss someone who don’t give a shit sometimes. That last cigarette I remember so clearly, because that was when you told me you were going to die. Do you remember? You did not move a muscle in your face when you told me, and I cried so bad. Then you asked me to always be your baby. I promised. I promise I’m still your baby Louis. I will never forget you, ever. I have to go now, but- right one more thing. I-I didn’t read your letter. I told you I’d read it when you died, I didn’t. I didn’t want to admit that you were dead. I will read it tonight. I promise Louis. I love you. Bye honey.” 

Harry walked back to Liam and hugged him. 

“Thank you”

“I love you man”

“I love you too”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first time writing on ao3 so I don’t really know how it works tbh... Anyway I hope you are not super sad now... I gotta admit that I cried while reading this (selfish? Probably). Anyways obviously none of this happened in real life and I hope that no one was offended by this story. 
> 
> I might consider whether I’d like to do like a part two of this when Harry reads the letter, but that depends on what you think... anyways thanks so much for reading and I’m so sorry if there’s any spelling mistakes. I did not read it through afterwards and English is not my first language :)


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